I want to fly like an eagle...

Eli came home from school today with a fantastical story. 
Today his class found a Bald Eagle. It was flying all around the school looking for a place to land. Eli and his friends were playing outside and he landed by them. He was hurt and didn't have any feathers...that's why he was bald I asked him about his baldness and his reply was...Dad, that's why they call them Bald Eagles. Someone or something scratched him and we had to save his life. I said...Eli, you and your friends are national heroes. You saved an Eagle! Way to go, son. What did y'all do? Eli told me that they put band-aids all over the Eagle.so that he was covered and then they let him go and he flew away. Everyone was clapping and giving high fives. Supposedly they are starting a new animal rescue club at school, and they want Eli to be the president.
He is already the president of the ninja club, the after school carpool club, and now the animal rescue club. He has already achieved so much...and he's only in the third grade. So proud!!

here comes the son....

9 years ago Sherri Harris and I were right in the middle of a huge kitchen and den remodeling project (actually, there wasn't anything but studs in the kitchen...no water, no appliances, only sub flooring and plastic draped over the doors to other rooms,....) and right at 9:30pm on January 26, Sherri came into our living room and told me that our baby was on the way. I had two friends over Michael Blessing and Dillon McTernan. Sherri asked me to discreetly ask them to leave because our baby was being born at home, so I went in and announced that everyone needed to leave because the baby was on the way! ( Do I know how to clear a room or what?) Our midwife arrived after what seemed like hours, but in actuality was about 20 minutes. And at 2:57am on January 27th, Eli made his grand appearance and my life has never been the same.

and the award for best actor goes to...

Well, Eli isn't going to school today. He has deflected many threats...such as: this is the last day you will stay home for the rest of the year (classic) to the more avant-garde " you know, the doctor may have to remove your foot if it stops working. 
I have even given the big roe a buddy toe and tapped them together to teach the bog toe how to work again...and wouldn't you know the big toe corrupted the second toe.
I have pressed on his heel and the fatty pad by the toes. I have wiggled the toes. There appears to be some bruising and some soreness, but he refuses to walk. I can't release THIS drama on an unsuspecting school and teacher. Now I get to spring this on Sherri , who has taken our daughter to school and will be home soon.
I'm thinking something like...hey, a funny thing happened after you left this morning....( fill in with something about starving children) then present our hobbled mess of a child...I should win the academy award for best drama, best story editing, best supporting actor, and I'm sure sure a few others...I will NOT get best musical (Sherri hates musicals...so there will be no song or dance...well of that kind anyway)
Here we go...

NyQuil...zzz

NyQuil is amazing! It allows you to sleep through your wife allowing your eight year old to get in bed with y'all...in the middle. It also allows you to sleep while your eight year old takes all of the covers except for a corner of the sheet, leaving you to wake up with what could be considered in the medical field to be hypothermia. Also the NyQuil and self diagnosed hypothermia allow you to sleep through your cat ( which is supposed to be an outdoor cat, except the before mentioned wife ( whom will remain unnamed) has started feeling sorry for the outside cat with the dropping temperature and the age of the outdoor cat and has started letting the outdoor cat indoors, where she makes a b-line to our bed to sleep)... Where was I? Oh, yes!...sleeping through your cat (which you are allergic to) making biscuits on your bare arms and "love" biting your underarm...but it will not allow you to sleep through the death gaze that the outside cat is giving you while perched upon your claw punctured arms so that you will awaken and let her out.

soft shell, blue, or king...

I love my son...I walked into his room when I got home from work and he was playing. I said, Hey, son. How was your day? (I startled him) Eli said, Dad...you scared the crabs out of me...

alien nation...

Sherri and I were painting tonight at a church in Loranger and Eli came with us. As we were working, Eli started talking and asked us very seriously ..Which one of you has alien blood? 
I responded with a...what? What was the question? Eli repeated the question again...Which one of you has alien blood? I offered that it must be Sherri Harris because I know I'm from Earth. Sherri was hard pressed to come up with proof that she was NOT an alien...it's not printed on your drivers license or anything like that. Finally she asked Eli...Did you mean, which of your parents has Indian blood? Eli said yes and Sherri claimed her heritage. Eli was happy to know that he was part Indian, but it was bitter sweet...his mother isn't an alien after all. It was sad for me too...having an alien for a wife definitely would have its advantages and it would explain so much.

to protect and to save...

I woke up this morning at 2:57 because I heard voices. It was Eli talking in his sleep. I'm sure he was talking to some superhero, or a friend, or he was developing a plan to take over the world, or devising some invention. He was getting a bit loud so I decided to get up and check on him. As I made my way through the darkness of my room, feeling my way around the familiar furniture on my regular path to the bathroom...which is also where the closet is that Sherri and I share...and, which also is my regular path to Eli's room. The bathroom has just enough light coming in through a stained glass window that it appears to be moonlight casting a soft glow on everything in the bathroom. It really is nice because you don't have to turn on a glaring light...you can keep that half asleep kind of shuffle going...that is until you glance into the nice soft moonlight coming through the stained glass window that fills the bathroom that connects to your son's room (who now is talking to someone or thing with great enthusiasm) and holds the closet that you share with your wife who lovingly washed and hung up your adult sized (6 foot tall) Batman costume that has now become a shadowy figure between you and your son...I went into rescue mode...I crouched down and started feeling for something to defend myself with and to protect my family...I came up with an arsenal of shoes...that I could throw...from the darkness...it was all I had and by now my heart was pumping...I was hoping that the superhero adrenalin would kick in...the kind that helps people lift cars or hold up buildings in the case of disaster. I moved into my attack position with the element of surprise on my side...and then I realized that shadowy figure hadn't moved...at all...and my eyes adjusted to my target...and my brain sounded the all clear. This morning I not only saved my family, but in a small way, I saved Batman too.