Look up in the sky...It's a bird, a plane...

Today we brought one of Eli's friends to school.  On the way there, Eli was telling his friend Shawn about the life of Jesus.  He told him how he was born outside. He went into great detail about Jesus being a baby. He told him about Jesus being the son of God.
Then Eli shared some little known facts.
 He told Shawn that Jesus has lasers in his hands and can use them to shoot the bad guys.  Jesus is also able to fly like Superman and when he catches bad guys, he puts them in jail.

I think we need a few more Bible lessons.

Capital H, little h

Tis a sad day! Tonight Eli is going over his letter flash cards.  He is working on his vowels Ii, Ee, Uu - all short sounds.  A picture comes with each letter in order to help with recognition. Sherri was working with Eli and wanted him to say his vowels for me.
Eli said, Capital I, little i, I says "i" as in Indian. (No problem). Capital E, little e, E says "e" as in elephant. (no problem). Capital U, little u, U says "u" as in umbrella. (Red flag).  Up until now, Eli has always called an umbrella an underbrella - which is a much better word, if you ask me. I'm not liking that all of his special words are being replaced, one by one, with ordinary, everyday words.
Capital H, little h, H says "h" as in HATE! (that he is growing up)

S-P-E-L-L-I-N-G

You have to be really careful who you let teach your children...even your spouse sometimes. Today we were cleaning house and I overheard James and Eli singing a song. It was a spelling song. Therein lies the problem. My husband has two small flaws. One he doesn't spell well and the other is he never remembers the words to songs.  So as we were cleaning, I heard James and Eli belting out R-E-D is red and W-E-L-L-O-W is yellow.
Oh well, I guess thats why God gave us dictionaries and spell check.

What's in a name?

After school today, Eli was sitting in the car with Ariana and me. He had a notebook and crayons. I heard him ask Ariana, "How do you spell your name?"  Ariana spelled it out as Eli made the letters in his book.  Then he turned the page and asked, "How do you spell the word 'hate'? I just want to know how to write that word."  I got involved and asked why he wanted to spell hate. Realizing he was about to receive his hamundredth(Eli's hundred) lecture on why we don't hate,  He changed his tactic and asked how to write 'I do not like'.  I began spelling the phrase out.  When the last letter was formed, he turned the page back to Ariana. I asked Eli - what don't you like?  He pointed at the page and put a big X over her name.  I don't think Ariana will be spelling anything for Eli for a while.

The Green Monster

Tonight I was sitting at the computer doing some schoolwork. Eli had just finished watching a cartoon and was looking for a way to stall going to bed. He told me his teacher said he had to write a new Bible verse, so could I pleeease get off the computer. I told him I needed to finish my work, but he was insistent that he MUST write a new verse for the Bible. Immediately James told him that we cannot add anything to God's Word and it must never be changed. It all sounded very theologically correct in a 5 year old sort of way. Eli, obviously not convinced by his Dad, leaned over to me and whispered under his breath, "Mom, he's just jealous".

Eli and Pops Harris

Its a Miracle!

I was talking with Eli's kindergarten teacher (who is henceforth fondly known as Mrs. H). She said last week they were preparing to have prayer in class. Eli raised his hand and told her he had a prayer and it was really bad. He told her he had 2 brothers and they both had broken legs. Mrs. H., being the wise teacher she is, knew that it probably wasn't true. Also, she is a close personal friend to our family and knows that Jared resides in England and Jon lives here and what are the chances both of them had freak accidents and broke their legs at the same time. So she offered up the prayer and decided to figure out how to address the "storytelling" later.

Later that same day, Vicky was driving and saw Jon walking across the parking lot of his work. She stopped and told him she was glad to see his leg was better.....actually it was quite a miracle. Good thing Eli prayed.

look mom, no hands...

Eli pulled the label off of a bottle of water, but it still had the sticky glue where the label was.  He was making it stick to his stomach and having a great time doing "magic".  The problem arose when he went to show Sherri, who was sleeping (soundly) on the couch and the "magic" somehow ended. The cold water spilled on Sherri, waking her up VERY abruptly and soaking her shirt. She was wet AND disoriented.  I have to admit that it was rather funny :-)

a one drink man

Today I took Jared and Eli to Cracker Barrel for breakfast. Eli asked me, "what do they have to drink at that place, do they have apple juice? I'm an apple juice drinker." I said yes - they don't, by the way.  He was STUCK drinking chocolate milk.  He informed me again that he was an apple juice drinker and told me that we can't go back there.

pool filter

About 2 weeks ago, James was cleaning the pool with his helper, Eli (who by the way watched the entire instructional DVD on how to clean and assemble pools). When it came time to check the filter, Eli looked on in complete disgust. James said we needed to purchase a new filter. Eli said, "No, just clean that one".  James decided to pile us in the car and drive to multiple locations, only to find there were no filters in Hammond.  On the way home, Eli made the statement, "We have 2 choices: We can go buy another pool and get a new filter or we can clean the one we have". Well of course we only had one choice and that was to heed the sage advice of the 5 year old and  and clean the one we had. Shortly after the job was done, Eli came in the house and said, "Mom, I was right, I was soooo right".

Driving Lesson

Eli's driving tip of the day:  Sometimes when I'm driving all around, I press the "beep beep" button, so the people will get out of the way.

All superheros watch from a distance for any trouble that might be about!

coming unhinged

The other day I came home to find that the door to our utility room had been removed at the hinges. I asked what had happened since the door was in place when I had left for work that morning.  My oldest daughter went into a panic because Eli had locked Addie in the room and she didn't know how to open the door.  I purposely put the lock on the inside so that if someone was washing clothes and someone else (Eli) happened to close the door, the person on the inside could unlock the door (this also works if Eli is the victim of his big sisters wanting him locked in).  I wonder if they make safe doors for dogs? I also wonder if Addie felt safer knowing that Eli couldn't get in?

What's the problem?

Eli got in the car after school and made this statement. Hey, I know what the problem is, "The bad guys are controlling their minds."! So in case you didn't know what the problem is....now you do.

The Trouble With Sisters

I was sitting on the porch swing and Eli came and sat with me. It was apparent he was troubled. His head hung very low. He began his story: Mom, I don't know what to do. "What is it Eli", I asked. It's Ana (Ariana). "She steals my stuff, she calls me names,and  she knocks me off my chair". "I must destroy her"!
 Later we discovered maps that Eli had drawn. On the maps, Ariana was drawn in the center. There were bombs carefully and strategically placed all around her. I'm thinking if I were Ana I would be very careful for the next few years!

Kindergarten

I woke Eli up this morning and he said,"Dad will there be lots of toys in my new class?" I said no, this is big school. He said,"Will there be lots of costumes?" I said no, this is big school. He asked,"Then what will we do?" I said Magic, they are going to teach you to read. He was ok with that!

5 going on 20

The last day of summer for the kids. Eli starts kindergarten tomorrow, not sure I'm ready for this. I started thinking - OMG, he's 5 which is 1/2 way to ten which will be 1/2 way to 20...He is a 1/4 of the way there!...then I came back from my thoughts and said he has only been here 5 years...wow, how my life has changed in 5 years! :-)

Eli being...Eli

The missing "peace"

Yesterday Eli and Sherri's mom were putting puzzles together and I started talking to them. Eli said, " Dad, you need to be quite. We're putting puzzles together and when you talk we can't "consatrait" on things." I asked if I could whisper and he said "Dad, that's still talking." I went in the other room and he said, "I still here you". This puzzle thing is serious.

Father moment

I love my little man! Today he came up and said, "dad, I made something for you" and he gave me a 3x4 piece of paper he had colored and said "it's part of a necklace for you to wear (like I'm a rapper) and then I'll always be close to you." I told him that he would always be close to me because he was mine. I love those little impromptu gestures that make fatherhood so great!

What's in a name!

Jon and Austin are having a baby boy and Eli does't like the name they've picked. He told me that the babies' name is "Rats" and that's all he is going to call him, except for his fish name which is "Mops". He's at the point where he wants to be an uncle though, before, he would scream and say that he was the big brother. The name may take a while to convince him of, thank goodness it takes babies a while with name recognition!

Everything but the kitchen sink

Ok. Eli is obsessed with packing a bag with most of his toys in it every time we go some where. It really gets a little aggravating when you are in a hurry and he can't leave because he hasn't packed yet. Today I asked, "Eli, why do you have to pack every time?" His reply, "I'm a kid dad and kids like to play. That's what we're supposed to do - play" I couldn't respond to that. We took the bag with us.

Spy Hangout

First thing that Eli said this morning was, "Hey Dad, can we dig underground today?" and I asked why. Eli said, "That's where our headquarters will be and we can live there and hide there. I told him that I had to work. Eli said,"That's ok, I'll start digging" ...I hid the shovels today!

Eli in all of his glory!

Patriotism...

Eli wanted an American flag so we got one for the house. Right after it went up, Eli says "Dad, now we have to say the pledge of aweegence". After saying the pledge he informs me that we have to sing, "My country tis of thee", which was sung with great exuberance from our front porch. Patriotism swells in the heart of a 5 yr old :-)

Eli Picasso

Do you know what it's like to walk outside and find that your 5 year old has spray painted your neighbor's car? And not just a dot, but he has added a racing stripe down the entire side - in purple -  on a red sports car! The ONLY thing I could use to get the paint off with was a LOT OF PRAYER and my nubby fingernails. I hope that this is not what the next 20 years are going to be like!

Sleep Over

Tonight Eli is having his first sleep over at our house with four 5 year old boys - LORD, HELP ME! I know that I must have said yes when I was distracted or using strong glue for something. We'll be camping out in a tent in our den and eating pizza that we hunt and kill. Then at 9:00 we will have the Benadryl popcicles for a tasty dessert :-)

It is right at 7:00 and I am amazed at how much noise five 5 year old boys can make - it is somewhere between an LSU home game and a Saints playoff game and there is just as much action and running. I'm waiting for the commercial break :-)

midnight - 2 asleep, 3 still awake. The air is turned down, the fans are on, the tent has been retired (note to self - tent... bad idea). The tent became an indoor wrestling arena! The walls were going every which of way. They were in and out -running around it.

All in all it wasn't so bad...would I do it again...hmm...when Eli is 10 - maybe :-)

New Decor

 Eli came and asked me for some tape, so without thinking I gave him a few pieces. Later he came and asked us if we liked the scissors taped to the wall...then, did we like the spoon...and fork...

Apology Not Accepted

Eli: Ariana you kicked me.
Ariana: I'm sorry, I didn't mean to.
Eli: Sorry, I have to kill you.

Wake up Call

I asked Eli to wake up the girls this morning. This is his wake up call. "Wake up sleeping booties"!

First day of Kindergarten

I'm concerned about Eli and kindergarten today. His first question. "does she have great costumes". I told him no. He said, "No! She does, she definitely does"'.

Birthday Threat

Eli's threat to Ariana today. "Ana I'm going to invite all your friends to my birthday, but your NOT"!

Picture perfect

I have to tell you owning an Eli is quite an experience. You need to go out and buy one for yourselves. Today, for example, he borrowed his sister's camera. Imagine our surprise to see his object of interest was the toilet. Yes, the toilet. I'm just glad he didn't drop it in.

Who can argue with that!

 I am leaving for work and have to drop Eli off at my Mom's. Eli is wearing his red, very dirty, 2 sizes too small, Power Ranger costume. It has no zipper in the back, so it v's to his underwear line..you get the picture? I tell him to go change because, my mother will be mortified that I let him leave the house in it. His reply, "This suit is my life"!

Point,Counterpoint

Happy Fathers Day! My husband is the best. His methods unortodox at times, but he makes the point. Eli says," I'm starving". James," No, your just hungry". Then he shows him Internet pics of starving children in Third World countries. You know the ones with swollen bellies and flies.  Now Eli asks to see the starving children everyday!

Stuffed dog

Eli came in the room last night and said Addie (Jon's toy poodle) must have gotten out. He thinks Ariana (who was not home) did it.  I knew Eli had done something. I went to the door. No Addie. I looked at Eli(who had an astonished look on his face). He said, "Oh no, a ghost did it"! I looked to find Addie stuffed in a plastic toy drawer. To the average person this may seem humorous. To a parent, you have to look at the sinister forethought that went into his scheme.

 First: Eli,(criminal mastermind), walks into a room to make an announcement regarding Addie (his victim).

Second: He blames a fictitious crime (the dog was not let out) on someone who's not there (Ariana).

Third: When discovery is imminent...blames the real crime (dog stuffing) on a non-existent being (ghost)!

Someone tell me what 5 year old sits around plotting crimes and ways to cover them up?

Darth Eli

You know most kids say, "Yes mam" or "Yes sir". Eli now says, "Yes Master" in a rather deep, Darth Vaderish voice. But to take it a step further, he told Ariana this morning, "My Master is upset with you."

Kid for Sale

James and I were talking and Eli was playing quietly with his toys. A rare, but beautiful moment.

 Then Eli breaks the silence and says, " No Dad, don't sell me"! 

I've heard threats of military school, but this is the first I've heard of monatary exchange.

Impending Doom

Eli: "Mom, don't let anyone touch my Legos"!
"If they do, they will blow up"! 

I'm thinking I may never clean his room or pick up after him again.

Alert! KIller robots mobilized!

It's not a good day for Ariana. Eli's mad and has alerted all the killer robots to come and destroy her.