Erica our daughter is about to have her baby and Eli overheard me talking to Sherri about it. Eli from his room: Dad, how is her baby going to come out? Will it burst out of her stomach (as he made a clawing like sign) I told him that babies don't pop out like that. Eli: so how do they get from her stomach to the outside? Are the doctors going to cut her open and let the baby spill out? I told him that there was a special way to get them out. That wasn't good enough for Eli. He thought a moment and asked if they came through the belly button, to which I said no. He went back to thinking...sure of the answer he said Dad, they come out ( and pointed at his bum). I said NO! But I could see that the questions were going to keep coming and the body parts were getting fewer. I was starting to feel the sudden warmth of the interrogation , I know that I started sweating, things began spinning and I was afraid that I was going to have to explain the great mystery of life at 7am (and my sock puppets aren't ready yet...) and a voice from the bathroom came gloriously to my rescue and I heard Sherri say, "Tell him they use a special portal" it was perfect! It was in Eli language! I said Eli, they come out of a magic portal that God created. Immediately Eli's mind wrapped around the idea and he was making swirly movements with his hand and telling me that when the portal opens a blue light comes out with sparkles and the baby materializes on the other side...he imagined and swirled and talked for about 30 minutes...I was safe
My wife is a genius and the first and second grade have been spared sex ed class!
